Showing posts with label Relationship & Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationship & Marriage. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 15, 2022

About Spouse

The old theory said Direct Officer is the Spouse for woman, and Direct Wealth is the Spouse for man. However, there are examples of people without Direct Wealth or Direct Officer in their charts, and they still get married.

In my opinion, that old theory was accurate for the old society. In the olden days (when BaZi was invented), an unmarried girl/woman did not go out and find dates freely. They only interacted with a male when their family arrange a wedding/engagement for them. That's why in the old days, a female meeting a Direct Officer meets meet a Spouse.

In the modern days, girls/women go out freely. Meeting a Direct Officer just means she meets potential spouse. This could be a casual date, a friend introduced by family/friends, or random encounters. In the modern days, random encounters and casual dates do not automatically translate to marriage. It just means meetings. It can (but not always) turn to a marriage.

So, don't worry if you do not have Direct Officer or Direct Wealth in your chart. In the olden days, people should worry about that, because the condition in those days (people did not mingle casually with non-family members), but we live in modern days.

My point is: BaZi needs to be used/adapted according to the time and situation.

Just reading old text (without testing), can make you get inaccurate readings. In my opinion, all theories need to be tested.

Sunday, March 7, 2021

About Relationship and Marriage

Many females ask about relationship and marriage matters. When people ask me questions about this, I normally assess relationship and marriage based on 3 factors: Attraction, Compatibility and Beneficiality. They are not the same thing.




ATTRACTION:
Attraction is the spark at the beginning. It's that love at the first sight or tingly feeling or intrigue feeling wanting to know more about the other person. It can be physical attraction (attracted to handsome men, pretty women), intellectual attraction (attracted to people's way of talking, people's ideas, etc), emotional attraction (attracted to someone who's protective or someone who is caring, etc) or combination of 2 or all 3 together.

Some people with certain Ba Zi charts are attracted some other people with certain Ba Zi charts. The full charts need to be analyze for attraction level.

Attraction is important at the early stage of dating/courting. A high level of attraction gives you a great advantage to start dating or start a relationship. If the attraction level is low, it takes longer time to make the other party interested, but it's still possible if Compatibility level is high. 

COMPATIBILITY:
Compatibility is how the personalities of the couple match each other. This is different to Attraction (early spark). Compatibility is about how the couple solve problems together, support each other through the good times and bad times. This is normally crucial to see whether the couple can last for a long time.

High level of attraction, low level of compatibility = hot, romantic and steamy at the start, but things start to fall apart when one or both have some problems, because they have different points of view, different ways to deal with things, so argument happens when problems arise. Small arguments can become big arguments when the compatibility level is low.

Low level of attraction, high level of compatibility= takes time to start the relationship, need some extra efforts at the beginning to generate the spark, but once the spark is there, things normally go smooth sailing, because they can tackle and solve life problems together.

Of course, there are other combinations, but after reading my examples above, you'll be able to figure out what the other combinations mean.


BENEFICIALITY:
Beneficiality
is about whether people will become better, worse or at the similar level after a relationship/marriage. This is easier described by using examples.

Some examples:
Some certain charts need some certain elements from their partner to succeed in business or career.
Some certain charts need some certain elements from their partner to be more pro-active/daring.
Some certain charts need some certain elements from their partner to be less impulsive.

After being in a relationship or marriage with someone, some people get better in their general behaviors (e.g: become calmer, and able to make better decisions), and some people get worse (e.g: become lazier). These effects have indirect contributions in their career, wealth or other factors in life. For example: someone that becomes more hardworking will be able to get career promotion.

High level of attraction, high level of compatibility, low level of beneficiality = Very loving relationship/marriage, but not much career/wealth upgrades after the relationship/marriage. Bear in mind, this doesn't mean that person can't progress in career. This just means the partner doesn't give career/wealth benefits. That person can still get better career and wealth by his/her own efforts, for example: studying a post-graduate degree, or attending investment seminars, etc.

High level of beneficiality, high level of attraction, low level of compatibility = Hot and steamy at the beginning, a lot of quarrels in the relationship/marriage, but their career/wealth are very successful after marriage. This is quite common when two rich/famous people (for example: celebrities) get marriage. They become richer and more popular, but they keep quarreling with each other at home. Do you ever wonder why a lot of celebrities get married and divorce often? This is the reason why.

I will not explain other combinations here, because it's too long to type. I'm sure that by reading the examples above, you will be able to figure out the other combinations yourself.

WHICH ONE IS MOST IMPORTANT?

The best combination is of course: High Level of Attraction + High Level of Compatibility + High Level of Beneficiality. But this is very rare in real life. It is common in movies and TV dramas though 😄

In my personal opinion, Compatibility is most important, but I'm aware that everyone has different views in life.

The playboys and playgirls would probably say that Attraction is most important.
The people that want stable relationship/marriage would probably say that Compatibility is most important.
The people that worship money/status would probably say that Beneficiality is most important.

When it comes to making a decision about relationship/marriage in life, our Ba Zi readings can help you to find out the Attraction, Compatibility, Beneficiality levels between you and your partner.

The importance of Date Selection

It's been a while since my last blog post. I have been busy with life, but I have always practiced Chinese Metaphysics on my daily life....